The Old Tired Path Series: Loved versus Unloved
By Darla LeDoux, Founder of Sourced™ and Author of the books Shift The Field and Retreat and Grow Rich

Welcome back to my series on the Old Tired Path. If you are not sure what that is, I invite you to watch the first video of the Old Tired Path series on my YouTube channel. 

I have crowdsourced these common themes from my current clients. At Sourced, we work with transformational leaders (coaches, consultants, creators, and healers) committed to raising the consciousness on the planet and helping people shift their energy. One of the ways we do that as leaders are to be aware of the energy patterns we are bringing into the space.

The Old Tired path is an energy pattern based on something we learned in the past and is a filter by which we view the world. Today, we will explore the Old Tired Path of Loved vs. Unloved. 

Loved versus Unloved or
Accepted versus Rejected

What happens when you have a filter of loved or unloved? Let’s say you were the first child in your family; then your little brother came along. Suddenly, he was the favorite, and you felt unloved and rejected. You felt like whatever he had, you didn’t have, so you decided to figure out how to be loved. 

My parents divorced when I was young. It took me a long time to get to the place where I realized I had felt unloved and rejected when my dad would make plans with me, and often he would not show up. I would be sitting on the front steps waiting for him, but he wouldn’t show up, so I decided it must be something wrong with me, and that’s why he wouldn’t show up as opposed to assuming there was something wrong with him.

There are so many reasons a person might come up with this when in this situation. They decided they never want to experience the pain of being unloved and rejected again. So instead, they decide they will do whatever they can to be loved and accepted.  

What might this look like? What does someone who is trying to be loved and accepted do? How does that show up?

These are some behaviors that might show up to get love:

• They decide they are going to be who other people want. Or at least those they are seeking love and acceptance from. 
• They will figure out what those people want from them and then deliver that. 
• They will withhold their truth to avoid conflict. 
• They will be overly friendly. 
• They will buy the love through gift-giving. 

They will constantly be asking, do you love me now? Do you love me now? Based on the Old Tired Path, we exist between these two beliefs: do you love me? Do you not love me?

On this Old Tired Path, we constantly see everything in life through this filter of being loved or unloved. When we do that, the experience of who I have to be to get love and the outcome of being unloved and rejected have the same flavor even though they seem opposite of each other. 

When we are doing all the things to get love, we subconsciously think you don’t love me. The more we try to get love, the more we feel unloved. 

When we are coming from a place of being or feeling unloved, some behaviors are the same as when we are trying to be loved. 

If someone feels unloved, they probably display the following behaviors: 

• They withhold their love. 
• They often think, “why should I bother to share who I am with you?” 
• When they give from a place of being unloved, they are rarely received. 
• You don’t give other people a chance to contribute or give to you. 

Our entire worldview is interpreted through this filter of being loved or unloved. It is the same energy. The outcomes of being loved and being unloved are the same. Please let me know if you are relating to this. 

It happens all the time and makes it hard for others to feel connected to you. 

So what do you do?

First, get present to this energy pattern and its impact. How is this showing up in your life and your business? If this resonates with you, I encourage you to pause for a minute and journal about this. 

Suppose you are living in this energy pattern. Are you trying to get clients to love you, but you are secretly afraid they won’t? In that case, you may be overgiving, overdelivering, experiencing people leaving, and people may be unable to get results because they are unable to receive from your energy?

If the concept of love versus unloved did not exist, what would be available? Who would you get to be instead? If, no matter what, I could never be loved, what would that make available? Who would you be if you could step off the Old Tired Path?

For me, the word that pops to mind is vocal, what comes up for you as an energy or way of being when you step off this path?

Let me know in the comments down below!