The Big Ask

By Tara Galeano, Sexual Empowerment Coach at Rediscovering My Body

How do you ask for what you want? 
In your business? With your lover?
Are you whining? Complaining? Coercing?

Recently, I learned that I was deficient in my asking skills. Even though I wanted to have more intimacy in my life and a more profitable business, I was sabotaging myself and my relationships. The truth was that I’d never learned how to ask. In my professional life, people viewed me as polite and cordial. However, I’d wreak havoc in my personal life by pretending I didn’t have any needs (or I can do it myself) or giving ultimatums when I did have a desire- not a very successful strategy for relational harmony. Can you relate?

When I began to explore what I’d been avoiding and denying in my own body, I recognized a hunger for something more: more adventure, more exploration, more love. I had limited myself by NOT making requests, particularly with my lover. Again, I ignored, endured, denied, or demanded. Does this sound familiar?

My body told me that I wanted a profound, intimate, orgasmic connection consistently, effortlessly and that I absolutely could have all that juiciness whenever I liked. There was nothing to be afraid of, just more bliss. When I tapped into this tremendous power, my life changed, my love life changed, my business changed because I changed. I have the most sensual, timeless sex of my life and I’m fifty. My business is full. I’m happy and content. And I know I can have more whenever I’m ready. Want to know my secret to success?

First, I trusted the wisdom of my body to know how to assess the situation. Our bodies are incredible instruments that allow us to be sensitive to what is true at all times, if we let it. I didn’t always trust my body. Childhood molestation created a disconnect in my life. I was afraid to be in my body, to have unwanted sexual attention, and to get hurt. Now I know that when I trust my body, I know who to ask, when to ask, and how to ask. I needed to learn to trust myself as an adult.

Second, I became more compassionate with myself and developed skillful means with others. This is a new skill for many of us, particularly as women. As we learn, we make mistakes; things could get messy. My advice is to be gentle with yourself.

Here are the keys to making a request: how, when, whom to ask, and repeat.

How: Ask kindly, clearly, and precisely. Set up positive expectations. 

When: Timing is critical. This is a measure that you must do consistently. 

Who to ask: Assess the others’ capacity to hold you in all of who you are. Are they in their integrity? Do they have the skills to respond the way you want them to respond?

Repeat: This is the most important part. If you do not do this again, you are assuming. That will create the same problem. Assumptions are boring. There is no excitement there. Asking is super sexy.

If you’d like to learn more about claiming your desire, check out my video The Big Ask here. 

Tara Geleano
Sexual Empowerment Coach at Rediscovering My Body

Tara knows that there is pleasure in the body beyond our wildest dreams, and every woman can access it. After leaving her twenty-five-year marriage, she recognized that she had given so much of herself away. Through rediscovering her body, Tara finally understood her desire and how to proceed from this erotic wisdom. Most importantly, she began to teach these lessons to women who are clamoring for the same truths so that they too could transform their lives and reclaim their sensuality.

REDISCOVERING MY BODY

There is inherent wisdom in our bodies. It will always guide us when we listen, know, and love them. Rediscovering My Body teaches you how to claim your desires, speak them more confidently, and increase your ability to receive pleasure. Who doesn’t want more of that?

Ready to speak your Truth more boldly, in alignment with who you came here to be? 

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