The Old Tired Path: Dependent versus Independent – Two Sides of the Same Coin

Dependent versus Independent – Two Sides of the Same Coin
By Darla LeDoux, Founder of Sourced and Author of the books Shift The Field and Retreat and Grow Rich

 

March 30, 2022

The Old Tired Path is a default energy pattern running the show for us and can get in the way of our business and life. If you want a more detailed explanation of the Old Tired Path, check out the first video in this series, The Old Tired Path. I have crowdsourced these Old Tired Paths from my clients who have lived through them. 

 

Let’s dive right in. This one is common among entrepreneurs in our space who want to live a life of ultimate freedom, not be tied down, have flexibility, and have financial freedom. 

The Old Tired Path is a default energy pattern running the show for us and can get in the way of our business and life.

Dependent/Trapped vs. Independent/Free

The Old Tired Path is always based on a past and trying to control the future. It is how we try to avoid being a certain way to prevent a pain we have experienced in the past or saw someone else experience in the past. It’s the thought of “I’m not going to be like that,” or “I’m not going to let that happen to me.”

 

Let’s say you are a human in a woman’s body, and you were raised by a very dependent or trapped mother. Maybe she didn’t have financial freedom or played the stereotypical mother role at home. Or perhaps you had a parent who told you, “don’t ever depend on anyone else.” You judged those experiences and decided that you would be independent and free when you grew up.

 

This now becomes a filter through which you see life. You live your life thinking; if I focus on being independent and free, I’m free! I will have the life that I want. But if you focus on being independent and free to avoid being dependent and trapped, you are not free. They are both of the same energy. They are opposite sides of the same coin. 

If you focus on being independent and free to avoid being dependent and trapped, you are not free. They are both of the same energy.

What does independence look like?

If you want to be independent and free, here are some words you may experience. You may find it hard to commit to one thing. You might insist on doing whatever you want. You feel trapped once you commit to something, so avoid it and commit to nothing. You like to keep your options open. You do everything yourself because you don’t like depending on others to do it for you. Avoiding dependence can be a barrier when you are looking to hire support. You don’t ask for help so you can make all the choices on your own. In the end, you may feel alone and disconnected. 

 

What does dependence look like?

You try to live freely and instead create a space where you are trapped. Eventually, you will begin to feel trapped by living so independently and doing everything yourself, especially in your business. You will feel trapped by the very business you created to create freedom. 

 

When you feel trapped, you may feel needy, tied down (by a person, situation, or financially), under tremendous pressure, or even in resistance; you may feel angry, helpless, alone, and isolated.

 

Take a step back and look at both sides of this spectrum. The reality is, they are the same. The more we try to be independent, we end up feeling trapped by insisting on being independent and not ever relying on anyone or anything else. The judgment of I don’t want to be dependent, or the fear of being trapped is trapping you.

You will feel trapped by the very business you created to create freedom. 

The fear of being trapped is trapping you. Does this resonate?

If this sounds like you, let’s see what we can do to shift the field. 

 

First, you want to be present to the impact of this Old Tired Path on your business and in your life. If this is landing for you, I encourage you to take a minute, pull out your journal, and write your version on the Old Tired path. 

 

What has trying to be independent and free and avoiding being dependent and trapped done in your life? What is the impact? We cannot shift a pattern until we are present to the impact. There is a whole other way to live that has nothing to do with being independent or free, but we will not make a change until we are present to our Old Tired Path. 

 

Up until now, not being dependent or trapped was more important to you that stepping off your Old Tired Path and living life in your way. So you have stayed on this Old Tired Path. 

 

When the impact becomes greater than the fear of stepping off your Old Tired Path, possibilities will present themselves.

Side note: this is not the easiest thing to do. You most likely developed this habit before the age of seven, so be kind to yourself. To step off this path will feel risky. There has to be an internal commitment to make that shift. 

When the impact becomes greater than the fear of stepping off your Old Tired Path, possibilities will present themselves.

Take a minute to get present to that. Once you are, let’s take the next step. Here is the magic question:

If you were no longer concerned about this, if it wasn’t a badge of honor to be independent or a shame to be dependent, what would that make available?

 

If freedom or dependence didn’t exist, who would you be instead? If you moved to a new planet and asked the aliens that greeted you, “hey, I like to be independent. Is that cool here?” and they responded, “I don’t know what you are talking about.” If those concepts didn’t exist, who would you be?

 

Who would I be if independence vs. dependence or being trapped didn’t exist? I would connect based on play. The energy I am getting for myself is playful and connected. That is how I like to do life these days, so this is resonating for me.

If you are a service-based entrepreneur and want to play with us in your Sourced energy, develop your business model, and learn techniques where you not only step off your Old Tired Path but also create a space for your clients to step off theirs, I invite you to join us for our upcoming Sourced Magic Business cohort beginning on April 19. 

 

Sourced Magic Business is an eight-week group experience that helps you shift your energy field and helps you design a business that invites your clients to do the same.

Sourced Magic Business is an eight-week group experience that helps you shift your energy field and helps you design a business that invites your clients to do the same.

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We look forward to contacting you when our next cohort opens up. :)