Time Stand Still Moments
By Darla LeDoux, Founder of Sourced™ and Author of the books Shift The Field and Retreat and Grow Rich

Have you ever had one of those moments when time stood still? I have had plenty of these moments. You can remember with crystal clarity everything that’s happening around you. You can remember what you were wearing, what the other person was wearing. The entirety of the moment is frozen in your mind. Time stood still, and you knew in that moment, something was available, something was happening, but you only knew, in retrospect, the importance of that moment. 

I had one of those moments. I was on my first date with my future wife/now ex-wife, and we were having this conversation. I had just come out. I had been living as a straight person for 39 years of my life, and it was suggested to me that I kind of had the energy of someone who was gay and didn’t know it. At that point, I decided to give myself that experience to find out if that was true. I discovered that it felt very true for me in my body. 

So here I am out on a date with a woman.  I found myself sharing a bit of how I was newly out. And this person says to me, “I’m going to put you in a bubble and protect you from all those mean lesbians.”  It was one of those moments, and I knew enough to know it was important.  

Since I was newly “out,” I had no idea what she was talking about or who the mean lesbians were, or why I would need to be protected. The general idea was that I was fresh meat in the community. Therefore, it would be very scary, and I needed protection. Now, in this time, time stands still. 

In that standstill moment, there were two parts of me communicating with me simultaneously. There was the part of me that said, ‘Well, that’s crazy. That’s weird. That’s not healthy. You don’t put people in bubbles. That’s not something you do. I’m not for that.” My friend calls them yellow flags, and this is a yellow flag. I don’t want to be in a bubble. 

Another part of me said, ‘Yes, please put me in a bubble because I am freaking terrified. I don’t know how to be a lesbian. I’m afraid of mean lesbians. What does this even mean? Put me in a bubble and protect me, please?”

These two parts of me are communicating at the same time. In retrospect, the more direct path to my truth would have been to say, “I’m not interested in being in a bubble. Let me go find out what’s happening out here.” 

Yet, where I was in my own consciousness, my development, my self-confidence, and my personal alignment was not that. I had a choice. Where I was at the time was actually more aligned with being put in the bubble. 

And that was the choice I made energetically. My mind didn’t say put me in a bubble. I didn’t act like I was in a bubble. Still, energetically, I agreed to this energetic connection to this sense of being protected by this other person.

This is something you can do without having to leave a relationship. If you made an agreement with a partner, or made an agreement with a client, to show up in a certain way, you can renegotiate that agreement. Maybe you agreed to be codependent with them and help them with everything and do all the extra work, and now you don’t want to anymore.

However, the other person has to also want to renegotiate that agreement. The other person has to be willing to also transform.

Let’s go back to the standstill moment. At this moment, I have the higher consciousness choice and the lower consciousness choice. One of those choices is Sourced, and one of those choices is Default, perhaps? 

The choice, “I don’t need to be in a bubble,” is probably more Sourced, and “Please protect me,”  is more Default. If I need protection this means somehow the world isn’t safe, or I’m not safe. That’s more default energy, and not needing a bubble would be more Sourced energy. 

The question is, is one good or bad, right or wrong? 

We could debate that. I could make an argument that my choice to go in the bubble was actually Sourced because where I was in that moment, I wasn’t yet prepared for no bubble. How do I know? I know because I chose the bubble. 

Had I been prepared to have no bubble, that’s what I would have chosen. So clearly, my soul needed the bubble. 

The lessons of this lower consciousness path create the contrast to help me see what it looks like to be on this higher consciousness path.

Isn’t this interesting? 

There is no wrong answer. Whatever I choose, I am still me at a soul level, who is here to express who I am at a soul level, and no one can take that away from me. 

I have a friend who always says, “What’s yours is destined to be yours, so you can’t mess it up!” That’s basically what I’m saying here.

I want you to look at two things. 

The Time Stands Still Moment

Be aware of the different options available to you. This Sourced message is coming through and it is a pivot point. 

This is a moment, this is a choice, that’s going to set something in motion for you. You are making a choice: this way or that way. 

When you notice these moments, believe yourself! If, in that moment, that you agree to an energy pattern that may not serve you, you can always go back and clean it up. 

I remembered that moment throughout the history of my relationship. I did attempt to go back and clean it up to broach that conversation and say, ‘Hey, I don’t want to be in a bubble. Let’s talk about this.” However my partner didn’t really want to resolve that. I would assert that she preferred the feeling of importance, or finding her value, in that idea of protecting me.  I wasn’t able to shift the field (energy) in that agreement with her, so to step out of that energy required that we part ways.

That was the path I was on and where I was at the time I made that agreement. I was newly out and afraid of my own sexuality, or I probably would have come out many years earlier. 

So I wanted to step into that bubble at some level. There were various times where I wondered what would have happened had I gone another way. However, I am so grateful for all of the learning, integration, and who I’ve become by going the way I did. It has helped me to embrace who I am.

While it may seem like I am now going backward, and I have grappled with this by the way, because I am now out of that relationship – I really didn’t. Everything I learned is now integrated, and I am in a place where I will be able to choose something different this time. 

So how is this relating to you? What’s true for you regarding these time stands still moments? What energetic agreements have you made in your relationships? Or your career choices? Or in your business niche choices?

Maybe you went one way before, and now kind of feel like going another because you are at a different consciousness. And that is perfect. You are right on time.

We’d love to hear how this may be true for you!

If you’re feeling drawn to do this level of work, I invite you to join us at Shift the Field Live this February. We will be transforming the energy that gets in the way of you owning and honoring who you are in the world. 

You can register now and hold your place for February, and we are going deep. We will teach you how this work will help you market, sell and deliver deep transformation and expand your magic in the world. 

Do You Honor Your Magic?
By Darla LeDoux, Founder of Sourced™ and Author of the books Shift The Field and Retreat and Grow Rich

Are you honoring your magic?  At Sourced, we help coaches, consultants, creatives, and healers market, sell and deliver deep transformation with their magical gifts. What I have discovered recently is that people don’t know their gifts. 

What is your core gift?

I’m talking about the core gift of who you are as an expression in this world that has been dishonored in the past. This was likely done by a parent or some authority figure who made you feel like that gift was wrong, or bad, or not valuable, and should be hidden away. 

It has come up in my own life as well. As you may know, I’m in the process of getting divorced, and someone recommended a book to me called Deeper Dating. When I started reading this book, one of the concepts resonated so immediately and connected to the work I do in so many ways. 

The main idea is to look at these core gifts and explore how we are attracting people who can’t see or honor or hold space for these gifts. 

I can see this working in my own life and in my clients’ lives.

Let me give you an example. 

Imagine that someone is an amazing healer and an insightful transformational being who has a fundamental gift of deep passion and intense emotional connection to all sorts of things in all types of ways. 

And let’s say this person was raised by someone who couldn’t be with their own intensity of emotion, and therefore that emotion was shamed. 

They were taught you shouldn’t cry, don’t be angry, tone it down, you’re too much, etc. That person would begin to shame that part of themselves to the point where they no longer need a parent or an outside source to shame them because they were already doing it for themselves. 

Now they automatically tone down and make those emotions wrong. Over time, their ability to access their emotions becomes obsolete. They don’t even know what they feel anymore because it has been shamed for so long. They’re now in the habit of shutting it down and shaming it themselves. In fact, any time those emotions want to come up, they become too intense, too extreme, and too much. Too much. According to someone else. 

They feel afraid, out of control, and they begin to shut it down. Imagine this person getting in a relationship with a partner, a client, or even hiring a mentor, and they have this automatic shaming of their emotions. 

They meet the partner, the coach, the team member, who, when they connect, that person can’t be with those emotions either, and they feel like it’s a match. They think, ‘oh, this is meant to be. This is a match.’ 

But what it is –  is a comfort zone. It’s this false sense of harmony because they are both in agreement that those emotions should be hidden away.  

Now this person has a partner who doesn’t want their intensity and who is going to help them control the intensity of their emotions. Or now they have a mentor who thinks, well, it doesn’t matter how you feel, go take action and leave your feelings out of it. Or then they have clients who have also bought into this story that their emotions should be hidden away. Pretty soon, the whole world agrees that you should hide your core gifts. Can you see how this could be an issue? 

Now, maybe that’s not your gift. Maybe your gift is your tenderness or softness. You can love, nurture, and hold things lightly and softly. But you were raised by people who said, toughen up, be strong, get it done, make it happen, pull yourself up by your bootstraps. This gift of softness and gentleness, which by the way, is so needed in the world right now, gets suppressed. It becomes the thing you are ashamed of, the thing you hate.

Then you go and match with other people out there, who similarly don’t like that gift in you or can’t be with it, or can’t hold space for it or don’t honor it. And then you think, ‘we’re a match.’ and we can go on in agreement that this gift should be hidden or suppressed. 

A New Vibration

When you step into the world, especially the world we’re in right now, we are here to usher in a new vibration. That new vibration has to be you in alignment with your soul, with who you are, and who you came here to be. 

To hold that vibration, you need to align with your core gifts. You need to honor them first. At times we can look for other people to give us the signal that we have this gift, that we’re okay, and that we’re valuable, but we’ve already surrounded ourselves by people who can’t be with it. That was our old comfort zone. 

Then when we grow into a new vibration that aligns more fully with these gifts, and we say I honor and celebrate myself, period. Then, and only then, will we call in vibrational matches for partners, coaches, and clients, etc.

A shortcut solution is to look for people who have the same gift you have and who can give it back. You can watch and honor the gift in them in such a way that you can’t help but honor and love that gift in you. 

So that is my invitation. If you aren’t honoring your magic and aren’t honoring who you came here to be as a soul, which is amazing and beautiful, how can anybody else? 

How can you attract clients, affiliate partners, romantic partners, and friends who honor who you truly are? I can see that who I am now, the vibration I’m in, and the vibration I’m stepping into is different from who I was nine years ago when I met my partner. 

I have chosen to celebrate myself, so my word of the year is “celebrate.” 

I have chosen to honor myself and honor my gifts and who I am in the world. It’s of the utmost importance to do that, so we collectively raise the vibration on the planet. 

So what’s true for you? What are your gifts? What’s your magic? What is it that you bring to the table? By the way, it’s probably not the first thing that pops to mind because it’s the thing that you think is wrong with you.  

You think this gift is bad and should be hidden away. 

If you’re feeling drawn to do this level of work, I invite you to join us at Shift the Field Live this February. We will be transforming the energy that gets in the way of you owning and honoring who you are in the world. 

You can register now and hold your place for February, and we are going deep. We will teach you how this work will help you market, sell and deliver deep transformation and expand your magic in the world. 

Stop Controlling & Start Leading
By Darla LeDoux, Founder of Sourced™ and Author of the books Shift The Field and Retreat and Grow Rich

Are you ready to stop controlling and start leading? I want to share a concept with you that I teach, that when we can integrate this, it makes a huge difference.

If you think you’re not a leader because you only do one-on-one work with your clients, I want you to consider that you are leading your client to the outcome they desire.

So first of all, you’re a leader, even if you only do one on one work.

However, if you want to reach more people, work lighter and not do all the things outside of your zone of genius, you need a support team.

Control vs. Leadership
When you’re assigning tasks to your team, it will be so much more effective if you lead rather than control. The thing that gets in the way of most people’s leadership is the idea of control. Think about delegating a task to a team member, for example.

Do you assign the task, or do you assign the task with instructions and require three check-ins before the task is due?

We’re constantly in this place of wanting to control what happens in the future, and we do that based on strategies that we learned in the past. This is what I call default energy.

Default Energy

Default energy is based on strategies we used in the past to survive life and stay safe. Typically, by employing these same ways of being and thinking, we believe we can control how things will go in the future.

It might look like you’re delegating something, but when you try to control everything about how it happens, then you’re not actually free.

So the default energy patterns that we have and make us feel like we are in control of what’s happening are automatic and probably not based on truth.

Leading from a Place of Power

Traditionally, when we think about power, we think of having power over which can sound like control. I feel like I’m in power when I have control over how things go or how people act. etc.

At the very least, the last year and a half have shown us that we are not in control. Congratulations if you’ve allowed this last year and a half to influence you into becoming more present and trusting how you feel called to lead in the moment.

My Definition of Power

To be powerful is to speak your core truth and receive what comes. I also like to say to be powerful is to be your authentic self and receive what comes. This belief is the opposite of control.

Little T Truth & Capital T Truth

In my book, Shift the Field, I talk about the concepts “Little T Truth” and the “Capital T Truth”. The Little T truth is based on a lie or some interpretation you had about life. Somewhere along the way, you decided you had to behave a certain way to get love, respect, and to be safe, and it is not your Capital T Truth.

Your Capital T Truth comes from the truth of who you are and how you are meant to express yourself in this lifetime, and it is your Sourced energy.

If you can speak from a Sourced place or your authentic self, put your truth out in the world, then you need to be willing to receive what comes.

The truth is, when you live your truth like this, people are going to have all types of responses to you. Now, a lot of times when I’ve distinguished this on retreat with people, people are afraid of what might come. Please think about this. The reason we don’t speak our truth is that we’re fearful of what might come.

We’re afraid receiving what comes looks like a negative consequence to who we are. Somewhere in the past, we received a negative result in response to who we were, so we’re carrying that belief or default energy forward.

For example, the thought is, I want to keep my job, so I better tone down my opinion and give people what they want because I don’t want to lose my job.

Is your job worth toning down who you are?

If so, that means you’re not leading from a place of power.

But that’s not necessarily true today. As long as you’re willing to receive what comes as a result of who you are, then you’re in your power, and what comes from might be more significant than you ever imagined.

Sourced Leadership

People feel, sense, and respond to the frequency of truth and alignment. If what you’re saying, who you’re being, and what you’re doing are all synced up, then there’s no disharmony present. Those are the people that we want to follow. That is authentic leadership, and that is leading from your power.

When you are holding back on your truth, trying to figure out how to maneuver to get a particular outcome, you’re out of your power, and now you’re controlling and not leading. When you’re genuinely willing to be fully authentic in the moment, that’s true leadership.

Also, consider that receiving what comes might be some people vibrating right out of your field. They could be like, I’m not really up for that, I can’t handle that, I don’t want that, and it doesn’t interest me. We have to be willing to receive that outcome. On the flip side, you are going to see people, clients, team members, affiliate partners, advocates, friends, lovers vibrate into your field because your truth resonates. They want more of that, and they want to follow your lead.