Liz Gilbert or You
By Darla LeDoux, Founder of Sourced™ and Author of the books Shift The Field and Retreat and Grow Rich

“What if you, in your aligned Sourced™ energy, were 10 times more magnetic, inspiring, compelling, valuable, than that person you admire?”

Hi there. Welcome to today’s video. Now I want you to imagine for a moment that instead of selling an offer that features you, you were selling something that featured your favorite celebrity or well-known person in your industry. Just take a moment and imagine who that might be.

Well let me take you back a few years ago, I was in just such a position. So I was living in Seattle, Washington and I had gotten this intuition.

I know I do and this was a pivotal time for me in learning about my intuition. So I got this hit around Liz Gilbert and everybody here if you don’t know who Liz Gilbert is, definitely check her out, follow her. She’s amazing. She’s the author of Eat, Pray, Love, and Big Magic, one of my favorites.

So I got this hit to check her out and I out of nowhere, right? It was just like, “Go pay attention to her.” So I went to her website and as I was looking around I noticed that she had a speaking engagement in Seattle the same week that I had an event in Seattle. She was going to be there a couple of days later. And when I saw the synchronicities, I thought, “That’s it.” “That’s what the sign is. I need her to speak at my event.”

So fast forward, I reached out, I got a hold of her booking agent and I booked her to speak at my event. And I invested a lot of money, $50,000, to have Liz Gilbert come and speak at my event.

Now, first of all, I thought it was divine guidance. So I’m like, ‘Well who am I to argue? I’m just going to trust.” Okay. So there was that aspect of it and I’ll come back to that, about how source might work through you. But the second thing that was going on is I thought, “That would be really cool to have Liz Gilbert and it’s going to make this event so easy to sell, so easy to fill because who doesn’t want to see Liz Gilbert?”

So fast forward. I have this event, I have a feature, I have a private video. You can find it on this channel of Liz Gilbert speaking to my audience that I sent out to everyone about how she was going to be there. And I’m thinking the registrations are going to just roll in. Well guess what? That actually didn’t happen. And this was my fourth event at this time.

So I’d produced various events and every single one of my earlier events was actually easier to fill than the event with Liz Gilbert. Can you believe that? I was shocked. Why would my people not be clamoring to get tickets to come spend this intimate time with her? We actually had her for a full half day. She led a workshop and coached people. It was phenomenal actually. She was really awesome. But I didn’t sell out the event and I didn’t even make my money back on that event.

And it was a few weeks before the event, maybe five or so weeks before the event, and I found myself on the phone with a colleague and I heard these words come out of my mouth. The words that came out of my mouth were, “If it weren’t for this stupid event my life would be so easy right now.”

It was one of those moments. And so I went on to reflect on that. If it weren’t for this stupid event my life would be so easy right now.

Now we could coach me around all kinds of things like calling my event stupid, for example, which wasn’t great, right? But what I actually saw is that I had felt this need to do an event and I had felt the need to make this event better than my last event, for example.

It was almost like pushing this rock uphill. Doing these things that weren’t necessarily like mine to do. So lesson number one is it was not easier to sell Liz Gilbert then to sell me because when I sell me it’s like I know me. I know how I’m going to show up, I know what I’m going to deliver, and I actually know people want it that. They hear me, they feel my energy, and they know that they want that.

Selling Liz Gilbert, I really thought the name was just going to carry the day. And I wasn’t bringing my energy in the same way that I would have had she not been there. And so it actually became harder to sell. It wasn’t Liz that was hard to sell certainly, but it was my relationship to this decision to hire her.

There was all kinds of weird, funky energy in my relationship to this decision. So I want you to think about what if you, you, yes you, in your aligned Sourced™ energy, were actually 10 times more magnetic, inspiring, compelling, valuable, then that person that you’re imagining, that you admire, that you think might be easier to sell.

So I’m curious what comes up when you hear this. Have you had an experience like this or have you ever daydreamed that if only I were someone else it would be so much easier? I’d love to hear about it in the comments.

Now I’m going to circle back to this idea that this was actually guided. I got an intuitive hit to go check out Liz Gilbert. And then when I checked her out, I saw she was going to be in my city the same time as my event.

I followed the guidance, but then watch what happens.

And it just seemed like that was the thing.

Now, funny story. And if you don’t know my story, I am married to a woman and I came out late in life. Between the time I hired Liz and the time that our event happened, Liz actually came out publicly that she was dating a woman. And so it was really, very cool. And it was cool to have her on my stage and to have that in common and be able to have that conversation. That said, perhaps the universe had just been guiding me to watch that and watch that story. But because I had this event, my mind wanted to put her into the container of this event and that this event was actually the guidance.

Since that conversation where I was on the phone with my friend and I said, “If it weren’t for this stupid event my life would be so easy right now,” I have changed everything. I’ve changed everything and starting internally. And it’s like even as I say that, I don’t think I’ve given myself proper celebration for that until this moment. So thank you for that. Because I’m feeling right now the joy and the release and the celebration of having actually changed everything. And what I mean by that is after that experience, I lost $50,000 on this event, I brought in $50,000, but I still was $50,000 in the hole.

In the years that followed, I have become Sourced™. That’s my new brand and it’s what I am on fire with passion about, helping entrepreneurs to do, which is to hear their guidance and to have a relationship with their guidance so that it’s not like, “I got this intuitive hit and now my brain takes over and I’m going to go do everything.” Knowing what I know now, if I could go back I would have inquired a little bit more. I have very powerful relationship with Source now where I would have said, “Okay. What does this mean? Does this mean have her speak at the event? Is there something else? What am I looking for? What is the message here?” But I didn’t really know and I let my brain take over.

If that sounds like you, if that sounds like something you’ve done where it almost feels like this relationship with Source is random, like your intuition might show up, it might not, or it’s going to give you limited information as opposed to being able to gather whole pictures of how to run your business through your connection to Source, reach out, message us support@sourcedexperience.com. We love supporting people in going to that next level.

When I was doing that event, my business was going really well. Like if I took that event away, I was hosting retreats, many retreats a year. I’m obviously not doing that in this moment, but everything was getting filled automatically with systems I had set up, I was meeting amazing clients every time I showed up live, I was monetizing my retreats in a really big way, and things were just flowing. So it really was easy without this thing. But I could look back at the history of my business and I could see I always had this easy flowing part in my business. I’ve been in business 11 years now. And then my ego would always come in and add things to make it challenging and complicated.

So since that event, since that wake up call, I always wake up when I lose money or the money doesn’t come the way I thought, I have simplified and committed to an easy, peaceful, what I call lazy B business. So if that sounds like you, if that sounds like something you’re into, definitely let us know. If you’ve been on this same journey please let me know in the comments. I want to know about you, I want to know how it’s changed the way you run your business and your life, I want to follow you and feature you and all of those things. I’m Darla LeDoux, founder of Sourced™ and author of Shift the Field and I’ll see you soon. Bye everyone.

Emailing Your Offer Be Like . . .
By Darla LeDoux, Founder of Sourced™ and Author of the books Shift The Field and Retreat and Grow Rich

“I want you to consider that your offer to work with you at this high-level is sacred. It’s a sacred offer. It’s a sacred invitation. … Source is with you as the coach, consultant, healer, creative. Source is guiding you and Source is guiding your client as well.”

Hey there. I’m curious if you’ve ever been in this spot where you know you want to bring in some extra cash flow and you want to do it through selling your highest-level services or a high-level offer. And you’ve done all the work to design it and you know what goes in it and how it’ll help people. And now it’s time to actually sell it. And maybe that gets a little bit scary.

And I love this moment, I love when it’s time to actually make this high-level offer because there’s something really special about this experience. However, a lot of times people get it wrong, okay. So I want to share a story that you might relate to that might help you.

I was working with this client and she had done exactly what I shared. She had developed this beautiful high-level program in a whole new niche. So she wasn’t a new business owner, she’d actually had a successful business in one area and she really felt called to transition her business and move in another direction. And so she had developed this beautiful offer and now it was time to offer it.

So we had, first, an important conversation that you always want to look at, which is… 

In other words, can you think of people who are past clients, who are already activated, like they’ve come to a webinar or a training, or they’re in your Facebook group or something? If you have an active group, something like that, where you know the people are, or if you don’t have that, you need to generate some leads.

So we had this conversation and she said, “No, I know there are people, past clients, people from these various groups I’m in.” She had been putting herself out on Facebook and so she had a lot of activity. She said, “Yeah, I feel confident. I have the people, let’s launch it.” So I said, “Great, awesome.”

And then the next time we talked, she said, “I launched it.” And I said, “Well, what does that mean?” She had taken her list of all the people that she thought were potential clients and she put them into her email, opened an email, created, put all the names in and she sent them an email. And she said, “Hey, this is what I’m doing right now. I thought you might be interested.” And she’d created a pretty PDF that outlined the program, it was really great. And she attached it to the email and she clicked send.

Guess what happened? Not a lot happened. She got some no’s back via email, and that was it. A lot of people she didn’t hear from, there was no dialogue, there was no conversation.

Now, I want to suggest to you that emailing your offer like that is like breaking up with someone that you’ve had an intimate relationship with via text message. It’s the equivalent, right? I want you to consider that this offer is just the invitation to work with you at this high-level, is sacred. It’s a sacred offer. It’s a sacred invitation. And as I said, I’ve been teaching sales for more than 10 years. And as I’ve developed my new branding and my new work, which is really around working with Source as a business owner. Source is with you as the coach, consultant, healer, creative.

And so to hold this conversation, this invitation, it doesn’t always have to be on the phone, it can happen in a lot of ways, but to really hold this invitation as sacred and Sourced™. You just know that they’re a fit for this thing.

So making a whole list and sending a group email, I mean, they didn’t know it was a group, but out and just saying, “Hey, here’s my most beautiful sacred work, what do you think,” isn’t a Sourced™ invitation. It isn’t a Sourced™ invitation. And in fact, I suggest not even providing that information, all of the details, the features of your program and the pricing, et cetera, really until you know you feel that it’s time for that sacred invitation, and that’s personal. And again, this is for the high-level work.

There are ways you can automate this. There are lots of things you can do to make that less labor-intensive, but… 

You’ve got to move through this stage where you know exactly how to do this and what they’re stepping into. So, I’m curious, what’s bubbling up for you? If you think about in one way, “Oh, I have this offer, everybody should know about it.” Or in another way, “I have this offer. I have limited space, first of all, and I only want to work with the right people who are divinely Sourced™ and connected to this exact experience.”

Can you see the energy distinction here? So start there and ask yourself, “What would it look like? In what places in my business am I just throwing it out there and where am I actually creating this sacred Sourced™ container?”

I’d love to hear what’s opening up for you just in this example, in this conversation. Make a comment below. If you haven’t yet, please subscribe. And also, there’s a link below to our quiz to really understand your style of this. So check that out. I’m Darla LeDoux, have an amazingly Sourced™ day. Bye, everyone.

https://sourcedexperience.com/quiz

Truth and Doubt in the time of Covid
By Darla LeDoux, Founder of Sourced™ and Author of the books Shift The Field and Retreat and Grow Rich

“Allow yourself to be present with doubt, to allow yourself not to know, or the need to know. Trust that Spirit, Source, God, the universe, is present in your life, guiding your life, and your experience of life.”

I am guessing if you’re watching my videos, you’re someone who is a big advocate for Truth. You look around the world, and you think, “If we could all just come from an energy of Truth, the world would be a whole different place.” I am with you. I’m Darla LeDoux. I’m the founder of Sourced™ and the developer of The Sourced™ Magic Quiz, which is a brief quiz that can shed a whole lot of light onto how to best show up and operate in your Magic.

And one of the things that is so important to me personally, in my own journey to tune in more to my own Magic, is that I consistently and willing to look at and get present with my own Truth. Now because of this, it often comes up in my work with my clients, and I do a lot of retreats. I’m the author of Retreat and Grow Rich. So retreats are really important to me. And in this last year, I’ve been doing my retreats primarily virtually.

So on a virtual retreat recently that I hosted, that was all about the theme of integrating everything that had come up during 2020 to use it as like rocket fuel or power for 2021. That was really the intention of this retreat. And so, to do that, I felt really drawn to help people identify what was their Truth in 2020.

Going down this rabbit hole brought me to one of the Gene Keys, and I’m going to read a little bit as we go here. If you’re not familiar with the Gene Keys, the Gene Keys is kind of a next level from Human Design, which I’m a big advocate for. And this particular book I’m going to read from is by Richard Rudd and he’s the developer of the Gene Keys.

So it brought me to this Gene Key of Truth. Okay, it’s Gene Key 63. And each of these Keys, I’m not going to get into whole detail. And by the way, I don’t recommend getting too heady with the Gene Keys, right? Because you can analyze things all day, and it’s not super helpful. But this 63rd Gene Key, the Siddhi, which is the highest level of enlightenment of this Key is Truth.

So each of these have this highest level enlightenment, they also have a shadow side. So if you’re here, you’re following me, you’re a lover of transformation, you probably do shadow work with your clients, so you totally get what that means. But every light or highest expression has a dark or a shadow expression.

So first of all, just that is interesting. And then the Gift of this Truth – Doubt dynamic is Inquiry. Inquiry. So, getting curious, asking questions, et cetera. That is the Gift if we really dive into this.

So the reason this came up and what feels really, really important about this in particular, looking at 2020, which different patterns have gone into 2021, right? It’s not like we turned the corner of the year and now it’s gone. I want to highlight this idea of Truth versus Doubt because it really explains what’s going on here. And so I’m going to read a little bit.

If we look at the world, it’s more polarized than ever. And everybody thinks that their Truth is the Truth, right? See, and I’m saying everybody, and it’s probably not you and I don’t mean to make a sweeping generalization. But if you look around, a lot of people are entrenched in their viewpoint, right? They have looked at what is going on, and they’ve decided, “This is what I believe, period, and I’m entrenched in my view.” So anybody who says anything that might be connected with something that is the other side, now suddenly becomes wrong. “I’m entrenched in my dogma.”

Well, here’s why this is happening. And this is so important. So the first thing we need to know is everybody has doubt, okay? And he says a huge question mark is literally wired into the human brain. Your brain is designed to doubt. So I want you to get this. First of all, our brain is designed to doubt. We’re built-in with this doubting device. Why? Because when we are in doubt, then we get into Inquiry.

Oh, okay. What is this doubt about? How could I further my own evolution because I have doubt? And so we’re seeking Truth because we have doubt. And it’s part of how we evolve as humans. It’s that we’re actually designed this way, okay?

So it can be a driving force. It can be positive, right? A driving force in evolution forward. He says, “However, the problem with Doubt is that it doesn’t go away. Doubt sits there deep within the neurocircuitry of every human brain, where it causes a huge unconscious pressure. When seen purely for what it is, Doubt is simply the word humans give to this constant mental pressure.”

Now, I want you to think about this. When you go to launch something or you’re thinking about your business, your messaging, “Can I trust my intuition? Do I dare to say that?” It’s Doubt. Doubt is creating this internal mental pressure and it’s normal.

“Although this pressure behaves differently from one human to another, the one consistency is that it drives each of us to try to bring an end to the pressure.” So think about that. We want to get it right. We want to find more information. We want to know the Truth. “If I just have the Truth, this Doubt will go away and then I can be all I came here to be.”

“We humans cannot easily accept this never-ending feeling of being unsettled somewhere deep inside. For most of us, the need for mental certainty results in our taking a firm set of beliefs or values that provide a barrier against the Doubt inside our mind.” I’m going to say that again. “…results in our taking on a firm set of beliefs and values that provide a barrier against the Doubt inside our mind.”

So think about that, right? As a business, you have values, right? And okay, “If I have those values, now I know who I am as compared to who everybody else is. And that’s what I need to stay safe. If I am in Doubt, I go to my values.” And that’s great. That’s healthy, okay? We continue to inquire and we get the answer, right? It comes as an illumination from within. Truth comes as an illumination from within not an answer from without. When we’re asking these questions with curiosity, with Inquiry.

He goes on to say our conundrum, right? He says, “In a sense, we have been conned by nature because there is no answer to our Doubt. Our attempts to end our mental anxiety have forced the brain to evolve even further. This is how our anxiety serves evolution. But the other important aspect about Doubt is that though it is truly impersonal, we humans make it personal.”

So we all have Doubt. It’s impersonal, meaning it’s common among every human. But we make it personal.

So look around, and I’m getting to why this pertains to 2020 and kind of where we’re going.

So we make it personal, and our society says, “If you Doubt, you can’t be a business owner. If you don’t have the answer, if you’re not sure, if you don’t have evidence and proof, then you’re not good enough.” And so our culture has started to override this universal Truth that we all have Doubt. And we should because it’s healthy. So we make it personal.

“If Doubt serves genuine Inquiry, then it becomes creative. But if it becomes personal and or internalized, it becomes destructive.” It becomes destructive, so look around the world. “If you do not use your mind in a creative way, the pressure either becomes a projection onto someone or something outside, or it collapses inward and becomes self-Doubt. It is self-Doubt that so undermines the individual from trusting in his or her own inherent creativity.” Okay, self-Doubt undermines us from being creative or we project it out, okay?

Now he says, this is just a tip. “The best thing we can do with self-Doubt is share it with others.” So let me just tell you, I have all sorts of self-Doubt about all kinds of things. And I just want you to know that, okay? I get the feeling in my stomach and it makes me wonder, can I deliver? Can I show up? That still happens, okay? So I’m just demonstrating this, right?

“So the very best thing we can do with self-Doubt is to share it with others. In doing so, you can embrace it and allow it to move through.” It doesn’t own you when you can see it and know it, especially if you can see it as a normal part of humanity.

“If an individual succumbs to the pressure of Doubt, the other direction he or she can take at the shadow frequency is to repress it through dogma and opinion. It can be used to construct a false logical reality that gives the mind the answers to the Doubt.”

So taking it the other way, if we succumb to this pressure of Doubt, we go to dogma and opinion. So, that’s exactly what I’m saying that we have been seeing everywhere, right? “At the shadow frequency, all the human mind wants is certainty. And if it cannot find it, it will manufacture it.”

So, I would say we can all agree we’ve had a massive year of uncertainty. Am I right? The whole last year, starting in March or February, uncertainty, uncertainty, uncertainty. So it makes perfect sense that given so much uncertainty, and this little Doubt mechanism that happens in the brain that creates Inquiry to help us find Truth, when it gets overloaded, it literally has been short-circuited for so many people this year, we go to opinion, dogma. And that is why you see what’s happening in the world because people aren’t aware that Doubt is a normal part of the human condition.

So what does this have to do with us? My call to you and to myself is to allow yourself to be present with the Doubt, to allow yourself not to know. To allow yourself not to need to know. To actually trust that Spirit, Source, God, the universe, is present in your life, is guiding your life, is guiding our experience of life.

And I’m not saying this to meditate and bypass being on this earthly plane and showing up and operating where you feel called to operate, even if you have Doubt, where you feel called, and where you feel drawn. What I’m saying is, if we let this Doubt override our circuitry, now we go into being entrenched in one way. And we’re not able to show up and respond as Spirit is guiding us, right?

We’re so in fear that now we’re like, “You’re right. You’re wrong. You’re right. You’re wrong,” and we can’t be present to being our own creation on the planet, being in our own individual Truth because there isn’t one Truth out there. And our doubting mind is never going to be satisfied, right?

And in my company, we have a whole process designed for that to help you transform default energies into Sourced™ energies so that you feel in flow and in confidence of how you’re showing up in the world, even when all of these things are happening, because it’s personal, right? The Doubt is not personal, but your Truth is personal. Your purpose is personal.

And just by looking around and trying to figure out how to avoid Doubt in the world, you’re never going to tune into that personal purpose, but with the right guidance and being able to look at and be with this Doubt and your specific type and nature of Doubt and allow it to be there, and in the meantime, use your energy for good and for what you feel called for, that is a Gift. It’s a skillset. It is a practice and a discipline, and we love supporting people in stepping into that.

So, if this sparks your interest, please leave a comment. If you want to know more about how we can support you in this journey of going from self-Doubt, to really being in your Truth and in your power, email support@sourcedexperience.com or pop below and take our quiz. I’m Darla LeDoux. It’s been an honor to be with you, and we’ll see you soon.

https://sourcedexperience.com/quiz

What can you say without words?
By Darla LeDoux, Founder of Sourced™ and Author of the books Shift The Field and Retreat and Grow Rich

“I’ve been a cheerleader. I’ve been asking the questions. I can’t turn off the coach in me. But none of that was relevant. There was nothing to ask. There was nothing to say. There was nothing to do. And in those moments where there was nothing to do, nothing to say, nothing that could be communicated but love, but energy. Those were the most important conversations I’ve ever had in my life. I wasn’t trying to get anywhere. I wasn’t trying to do anything. And I wasn’t trying to make anything happen. I just wanted to be present and communicate love.”

This is what I want to speak into today, and I have a vulnerable share that I think is really going to illustrate this and be compelling for you. Bear with me. 

First, I’m Darla LeDoux, I’m the founder of Sourced™, and I’ve recently developed a new framework for thinking about how Source works through you. And it’s called Your Sourced™ Magic. There’s a quiz; you can find out about it in the comments. https://sourcedexperience.com/quiz

The reason I mention this is I have been immersing in this study in the last few years of how I can personally connect with and be guided by spirit, but also how do I bring Source into the relationships I have with my clients, with my joint venture partners, et cetera. And it’s totally changed the landscape of how I think about my business and how I do business. And yet, it’s not really an easy shift to make, to trust our energy, to trust how we show up as an expression of Source to do 90% of our work. And the actual hard work we do is a small fraction of the overall way we spend our time. And one of the ways that you can really increase this muscle of trusting that, so you can ultimately work lighter as a lightworker on this planet, is to trust that you can communicate without words.

Here’s my story of where I really got to experience this so potently this year – last year in 2020. It was March of 2020. I was hosting a virtual retreat—one of those retreats that was originally meant to be live. We had a venue booked, people had booked their flights to come to California and retreat with me, and just a week, week and a half prior to this retreat, I really knew that without knowing any more about the pandemic, it didn’t feel right for me to have people fly and come in. And so I had turned my retreat virtual, and my clients are amazing, and they rolled with it, and we got phenomenal results. And in fact, we’ve been getting phenomenal results with virtual retreats. If that’s something that is in your mind, definitely reach out to us, but I digress.

And I know you know what I’m talking about because you probably do this in some way in your business too. Where you know, people are really shifting their energy, and it’s taking a lot from you for you to hold it that firm container for them. Now, the better you are at it, the easier it is. I’ve done this for more than 10 years, yet I’m there, I’m present, I’m with the clients in this experience.

Between day two and day three, I get a call from my mother, and my brother had OD’d, and he was in the hospital. Now, my brother is 15 years younger than me. I was 15 when he was born, which meant I was his caretaker a lot of the time. My mom worked nights, so I would take him with me to basketball practice, and I would cook dinner and all of that. My brother is just really special to me, and we’ve had this bond since he was born.

He’s in the hospital on life support, I’m in the middle of a retreat, and I’m in the middle of a pandemic. And so I’m contemplating, What do I do? Do I fly home? Can I do anything? And just being present with all of my emotions around this. It’s overnight during the retreat. A few hours later, I get another call that the doctors have said, “He’s not going to live.” They’ve never seen anyone come back from this. Pretty sure he’s not going to make it. And by the next morning, my mom was there in the hospital.

Think about this. She couldn’t visit because of COVID. She wasn’t allowed in the hospital until they basically said, “He’s not going to make it.” They let her in and had her sign the papers, do not resuscitate, and sign papers to donate his organs. This was on a weekend.

He’s signed over; they’re donating his organs. My little brother, who I helped raise until I went off to college, gone. I am, as you might imagine, a hot mess. Crying and crying and inconsolable, really. But I got to get it together to come back to this retreat and to hold this space. And I was able to do that with the support of spirit because I’ve done so much of this work that I know spirit can work through me, even if I’m not at my best, which is so freeing. And also the support of my team; my lead coach, Julie, was on the call with me, and I let her know what was going on. And she took the first session of the day and gave me some space to process and be able to be present.

Get off the retreat, close that out, and again, I’m back to: do I fly? Do I go? Do I say goodbye? Is there a funeral? What would that look like? Is it a virtual funeral? How could we do that? All of these things coming up for me. And that was kind of where I left it. I went to bed. I’m like, there’s nothing I can do. There’s nothing I can do. And by the way, I even wrote about this in my first book.

This relationship with my brother has had a long history for me. He called me really despondent the first time I was about to go to a networking event for my business. That’s what I wrote about in my book. Fast forward, the first time he overdosed, I was across the world in Africa and wasn’t able to be there. I couldn’t have made it back, and I had to do again, some more processing and healing around this relationship and my role and my feeling of responsibility around him.

The day that I moved into what I thought was at the time, my dream house on the water, which was a vision that I had wanted to fulfill so much. The day I moved in, my brother moved into a homeless shelter. Here I am moving into my dream home, and my brother’s moving into a homeless shelter. You can start to see these ties. And now we’re in a pandemic. All these things are happening. I was about to move, by the way, during all of this. A week after that happened, about 10 days, I was scheduled to move to a new state. All of these things happen, and they’re tied.

Next day, day after the retreat, I’m contemplating flying, all of these things, and I get a call and my brother woke up.

He came back from wherever he had been. And there he was alive. Nobody could believe it. Something to do with having him iced down so they could preserve his organs somehow helped him to be able to live through this. And here he was, he was back, and he’s on a ventilator of all things in the time when there’s a shortage of ventilator. That’s a whole other story. But he literally came back to life. And celebration. But we’re left with all of these mixed emotions because here’s someone who maybe didn’t want to live, and there’s all of these people who want to live, who are being faced with their mortality. And here’s someone who, all means didn’t want to live, and he’s back to life.

I want to circle back to my point. And there’s so many lessons I’ve learned here, and there’s so much I’ve learned about relationship dynamics, energy dynamics, how my energy is tied to his or has been tied to his and this long history of wanting more for him, seeing the best in him, wanting more for him in a way that maybe he doesn’t want for himself. And so I’ve done a lot of healing around that and places where, with my clients, with my business, with my wife, where I’ve wanted more for someone than maybe they want for themselves.

But he came back. Of course, as soon as I can and get them on the phone, how are you? He’s groggy, but he’s there. He’s there. And he’s going through this recovery process and recovery process. Recovery process from all of his organs that shut down and purging off of this medication that he’d been on for his mental health, getting new medication, dealing with his addiction, all of these layers of healing that he’s needing to go through. And I’m calling and I’m checking in and I’m supporting. And one of the things that happened is in this process, his medications got all out of whack. That’s the only way I can think to explain it. As he’s coming back to life, he’s out of whack.

And I would call him and he really couldn’t communicate. He really couldn’t carry a train of thought. Really. And those quite honestly are some of the best conversations with him that I feel I’ve ever had.

And I can still be present to that feeling and that experience. And what’s really, really interesting is kind of his whole life, because he’s struggled with addiction, obviously for a while. I’ve been a cheerleader. I’ve been asking the questions. I’ve been, can’t turn off the coach in me. But none of that was relevant. None of that was pertinent. It wasn’t going to go anywhere. There was nothing to ask. There was nothing to say. There was nothing to do. There was nothing to do.

And in those moments where there was nothing to do, nothing to say, nothing that could be communicated, but love, but energy. Those were the most important conversations I’ve ever had in my life. I knew without a doubt that our souls were communicating, regardless of what was actually happening in the moment. I wasn’t trying to get anywhere. I wasn’t trying to do anything. And I wasn’t trying to make anything happen. I just wanted to be present and communicate love.

And we might think that, oh, what a gift that I could give him this experience of love. But actually, it’s what he gave me. He gave me a bigger gift than I know he could ever imagine in those exchanges, in those moments of presence, in those moments where he chose to get on the phone, even though he couldn’t talk, even though he chose to get on the phone and just be present with me. And that was the biggest gift I could have gotten.

What does this have to do with you? And what does this have to do with your business and your Magic?

What if you could get out of your head a little bit and maybe be less strategic? And by the way, recovering engineer here, strategy is one of my gifts. But what if you could get out of your head and be less strategic and be more present? Be more present and be more potent energetically. What would that do? What would that do if you stopped trying to figure out if they hear this, they’ll do this. If they get this, then they’ll do this, and they’ll be this, and you just said, “What if I exchange love and I trust they’ll notice?”

What if I cue my Magic? One of the magics is called Compassion Magic, which is all about healing with love. What if I cue my Magic and they’ll feel it? What if I use my Magic? One of the Magics is Recognition, which has to do with picking up patterns and making connections. What if I stopped trying to explain the way I made the connections and just started being as if what I see as true? What would that do for me, energetically?

This is just the tip of the iceberg of this conversation. This is work we do on the mat with our clients. Because the default, doing, fixing, solving, being, hustling, those things, they want to take over, and they are intense. On the mat with our clients, we really support people in letting go of all of those things that we put in the way as a shield to look good. To sound good, to say the right thing.

And we let that down and we practice being present and seeing what is. Trusting. Trusting your clients to go with you. If you jump 10 steps, that they’ll get it. Because they’re the hero in their own life. There’s so many ways this manifests; it’s very, very personal. I would love to hear, where have you seen your energy communicate louder than words? Where are you caught in the doing? And the hustling and the saying and the fixing and the striving, rather than the being and bringing the healing presence.

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