The Old Tired Path Series: Powerless versus Powerful
By Darla LeDoux, Founder of Sourced™ and Author of the books Shift The Field and Retreat and Grow Rich

Welcome back to the Old Tired Path Series! The Old Tired Path is an energy pattern that is so familiar that it is a part of how we live and breathe. As we grow and expand our businesses, we will be confronted with some limitations that our Old Tired Path will bring us. 

We have the choice to transform our energy patterns and step off that path at any time. If you want to learn more about the Old Tired Path, watch the first video in this series or read the first blog in this series that goes into this concept in more detail. 

We have crowdsourced the most common Old Tired Paths from our client base to break down for everyone. 

Powerless versus Powerful

There were several versions of similar energy, so I would like to include them. 

Defer versus Controlling
Don’t Make a difference versus  Do Make a Difference

On the Old Tired Path, there is always a judgment. These get established when we are young, often before the age of seven, before we have a conscious mind, so we don’t even know we have an option to live any other way. We are constantly looking,  judging, and assessing ourselves. That becomes our filter for life. 

If we had an experience of powerlessness when we were young, we are constantly either trying to hide or trying to be in control. We don’t realize that we spend our lives on this path between the two whose outcomes are the same even though they seem opposites. 

If we feel powerless, we defer to others and don’t feel like we make a difference. We become passive and don’t try. We decide to wait and see. Will will avoid and hide. We feel embarrassed or ashamed. We look outside of ourselves to who is in charge and how they behave. We constantly analyze who is in power. We are always in a heightened awareness of everything happening around us and unable to rest. 

On the opposite end of the Old Tired Path, we still judge ourselves. Am I in control and powerful? You do a lot. You have the attitude of “If it’s to be, it’s up to me!” You are taking charge and responsible. As a result, you are also looking outside of yourself. You are watchful of everything going on to see what I have to do here. After all, I have to make a difference because I am in charge.  

Some of the outcomes of being powerful are the same as being powerless. You cannot rest. You feel the need to be constantly aware and attentive. You feel embarrassed, ashamed, or guilty if anything goes wrong because it is your fault. 

Both ends of this spectrum can have us feeling the same way. Feeling powerless and feeling powerful end up bringing the same kind of vibe. Everything is coming through this filter of do I matter? Do I make a difference? Am I in charge, or am I a victim? Is life happening to me?

We are so busy analyzing it that the outcome is the same. If you are resonating with this, please pause and do a bit of journaling and ask yourself, what is the impact of living on this Old Tired Path?

What impact does living with the constant filter of judgment – am I powerful or powerless –  have on my life? 

What if none of that mattered? If you could let go and step off this Old Tired Path into an entirely different realm where whether you were powerless or powerful didn’t matter, who would you get to be? What would that make available?

Love, nurturing, and experiencing are the words that come up for me. If I’m not measuring power, love seems like a beautiful measurement of life. How nurturing could I be of myself and others if power didn’t matter? How would I be able to experience this dance of life with others if I did not think of the concept of power?

If I could let go of power, I would be able to love, nurture and experience the world and life. How great would that be? What would be available if you stepped off this Old Tired Path?

The Old Tired Path Series: Loved versus Unloved
By Darla LeDoux, Founder of Sourced™ and Author of the books Shift The Field and Retreat and Grow Rich

Welcome back to my series on the Old Tired Path. If you are not sure what that is, I invite you to watch the first video of the Old Tired Path series on my YouTube channel. 

I have crowdsourced these common themes from my current clients. At Sourced, we work with transformational leaders (coaches, consultants, creators, and healers) committed to raising the consciousness on the planet and helping people shift their energy. One of the ways we do that as leaders are to be aware of the energy patterns we are bringing into the space.

The Old Tired path is an energy pattern based on something we learned in the past and is a filter by which we view the world. Today, we will explore the Old Tired Path of Loved vs. Unloved. 

Loved versus Unloved or
Accepted versus Rejected

What happens when you have a filter of loved or unloved? Let’s say you were the first child in your family; then your little brother came along. Suddenly, he was the favorite, and you felt unloved and rejected. You felt like whatever he had, you didn’t have, so you decided to figure out how to be loved. 

My parents divorced when I was young. It took me a long time to get to the place where I realized I had felt unloved and rejected when my dad would make plans with me, and often he would not show up. I would be sitting on the front steps waiting for him, but he wouldn’t show up, so I decided it must be something wrong with me, and that’s why he wouldn’t show up as opposed to assuming there was something wrong with him.

There are so many reasons a person might come up with this when in this situation. They decided they never want to experience the pain of being unloved and rejected again. So instead, they decide they will do whatever they can to be loved and accepted.  

What might this look like? What does someone who is trying to be loved and accepted do? How does that show up?

These are some behaviors that might show up to get love:

• They decide they are going to be who other people want. Or at least those they are seeking love and acceptance from. 
• They will figure out what those people want from them and then deliver that. 
• They will withhold their truth to avoid conflict. 
• They will be overly friendly. 
• They will buy the love through gift-giving. 

They will constantly be asking, do you love me now? Do you love me now? Based on the Old Tired Path, we exist between these two beliefs: do you love me? Do you not love me?

On this Old Tired Path, we constantly see everything in life through this filter of being loved or unloved. When we do that, the experience of who I have to be to get love and the outcome of being unloved and rejected have the same flavor even though they seem opposite of each other. 

When we are doing all the things to get love, we subconsciously think you don’t love me. The more we try to get love, the more we feel unloved. 

When we are coming from a place of being or feeling unloved, some behaviors are the same as when we are trying to be loved. 

If someone feels unloved, they probably display the following behaviors: 

• They withhold their love. 
• They often think, “why should I bother to share who I am with you?” 
• When they give from a place of being unloved, they are rarely received. 
• You don’t give other people a chance to contribute or give to you. 

Our entire worldview is interpreted through this filter of being loved or unloved. It is the same energy. The outcomes of being loved and being unloved are the same. Please let me know if you are relating to this. 

It happens all the time and makes it hard for others to feel connected to you. 

So what do you do?

First, get present to this energy pattern and its impact. How is this showing up in your life and your business? If this resonates with you, I encourage you to pause for a minute and journal about this. 

Suppose you are living in this energy pattern. Are you trying to get clients to love you, but you are secretly afraid they won’t? In that case, you may be overgiving, overdelivering, experiencing people leaving, and people may be unable to get results because they are unable to receive from your energy?

If the concept of love versus unloved did not exist, what would be available? Who would you get to be instead? If, no matter what, I could never be loved, what would that make available? Who would you be if you could step off the Old Tired Path?

For me, the word that pops to mind is vocal, what comes up for you as an energy or way of being when you step off this path?

Let me know in the comments down below! 

Dependent versus Independent – Two Sides of the Same Coin
By Darla LeDoux, Founder of Sourced™ and Author of the books Shift The Field and Retreat and Grow Rich

The Old Tired Path is a default energy pattern running the show for us and can get in the way of our business and life. If you want a more detailed explanation of the Old Tired Path, check out the first video in this series, The Old Tired Path. I have crowdsourced these Old Tired Paths from my clients who have lived through them. 

Let’s dive right in. This one is common among entrepreneurs in our space who want to live a life of ultimate freedom, not be tied down, have flexibility, and have financial freedom. 

Dependent/Trapped vs. Independent/Free

The Old Tired Path is always based on a past and trying to control the future. It is how we try to avoid being a certain way to prevent a pain we have experienced in the past or saw someone else experience in the past. It’s the thought of “I’m not going to be like that,” or “I’m not going to let that happen to me.”

Let’s say you are a human in a woman’s body, and you were raised by a very dependent or trapped mother. Maybe she didn’t have financial freedom or played the stereotypical mother role at home. Or perhaps you had a parent who told you, “don’t ever depend on anyone else.” You judged those experiences and decided that you would be independent and free when you grew up.

This now becomes a filter through which you see life. You live your life thinking; if I focus on being independent and free, I’m free! I will have the life that I want. But if you focus on being independent and free to avoid being dependent and trapped, you are not free. They are both of the same energy. They are opposite sides of the same coin. 

What does independence look like?

If you want to be independent and free, here are some words you may experience. You may find it hard to commit to one thing. You might insist on doing whatever you want. You feel trapped once you commit to something, so avoid it and commit to nothing. You like to keep your options open. You do everything yourself because you don’t like depending on others to do it for you. Avoiding dependence can be a barrier when you are looking to hire support. You don’t ask for help so you can make all the choices on your own. In the end, you may feel alone and disconnected. 

What does dependence look like?

You try to live freely and instead create a space where you are trapped. Eventually, you will begin to feel trapped by living so independently and doing everything yourself, especially in your business. You will feel trapped by the very business you created to create freedom. 

When you feel trapped, you may feel needy, tied down (by a person, situation, or financially), under tremendous pressure, or even in resistance; you may feel angry, helpless, alone, and isolated.

Take a step back and look at both sides of this spectrum. The reality is, they are the same. The more we try to be independent, we end up feeling trapped by insisting on being independent and not ever relying on anyone or anything else. The judgment of I don’t want to be dependent, or the fear of being trapped is trapping you.

The fear of being trapped is trapping you. Does this resonate?

If this sounds like you, let’s see what we can do to shift the field. 

First, you want to be present to the impact of this Old Tired Path on your business and in your life. If this is landing for you, I encourage you to take a minute, pull out your journal, and write your version on the Old Tired path. 

What has trying to be independent and free and avoiding being dependent and trapped done in your life? What is the impact? We cannot shift a pattern until we are present to the impact. There is a whole other way to live that has nothing to do with being independent or free, but we will not make a change until we are present to our Old Tired Path. 

Up until now, not being dependent or trapped was more important to you that stepping off your Old Tired Path and living life in your way. So you have stayed on this Old Tired Path. 

When the impact becomes greater than the fear of stepping off your Old Tired Path, possibilities will present themselves.

Side note: this is not the easiest thing to do. You most likely developed this habit before the age of seven, so be kind to yourself. To step off this path will feel risky. There has to be an internal commitment to make that shift. 

Take a minute to get present to that. Once you are, let’s take the next step. Here is the magic question:

If you were no longer concerned about this, if it wasn’t a badge of honor to be independent or a shame to be dependent, what would that make available?

If freedom or dependence didn’t exist, who would you be instead? If you moved to a new planet and asked the aliens that greeted you, “hey, I like to be independent. Is that cool here?” and they responded, “I don’t know what you are talking about.” If those concepts didn’t exist, who would you be?

Who would I be if independence vs. dependence or being trapped didn’t exist? I would connect based on play. The energy I am getting for myself is playful and connected. That is how I like to do life these days, so this is resonating for me.

If you are a service-based entrepreneur and want to play with us in your Sourced energy, develop your business model, and learn techniques where you not only step off your Old Tired Path but also create a space for your clients to step off theirs, I invite you to join us for our upcoming Sourced Magic Business cohort beginning on April 19. 

Sourced Magic Business is an eight-week group experience that helps you shift your energy field and helps you design a business that invites your clients to do the same.